The woman in “The Iron Lady” seems so strong and imperturbable. Nothing can disturb her. The face is calm under any circumstances. Her movements are well-coordinated and confident. Every gesture manifests impregnability and an adamant willpower. “Oh, she certainly keeps everything under control” – thinks a little girl in front of TV. – “ I wish I was like her. Why am I so sensitive? Nobody likes it when I am upset or crying. Recently my dad got so angry when I was afraid to jump into the water during that horrible trip to the ocean.” Tears start running down her cheeks, but tormenting thoughts are still in her head. “Why was he so mad and why wouldn’t he talk to me all day? I am such a coward!”
She stands up and goes to the window. The ugliness of the weather perfectly reflects her current feeling. She can see no ray of hope. The picture of the “iron” lady in the movie comes to her mind. She wishes so much at this moment to be “The Iron Girl”. She desires not to feel fear, sadness, frustration and all other bad feelings. It seems like the only way to a happy life.
I was that girl and many years later I understand that it is incorrect to divide feelings into good and bad category. All feelings play a crucial role in our life. If someone suppresses “negative” feelings, not experience them, not letting them be, he or she can’t experience the other uplifting part of the feelings like happiness, satisfaction and so on. After many years of futile efforts to be iron strong, I realized that I wasn’t actually living, like some part of me was dead. I burned it in the past. How can you be alive and enjoy life in full if you are not truly you, if you are just a part of you.
Feelings play the same role as the lamps on your car’s dashboard. They are not bad or good. They just reflect your current condition. They show you that you need to pay attention to a specific aspect of your life, and if it is negative, to work towards resolution.
No longer wishing to be the “iron lady”, I decided to live a full and embracing life and pay attention to all signals from my soul.
